(Failed) Conservative Fantasy

Heavy leather boots are marching,
to the German goosestep,
clickety-clack down the Yellow Brick Road.
Faces all hid by warpaint are smiling,
singing their heathen war-hymns,
skip-to-my-loo all the way to the Wizard's lair.
I bought a house on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams,
it wasn't a bad little place,
the neighbours sucked.
So I moved to the hills,
climbed Springheel Jack's beanstalk,
and killed the Jolly Green Giant in his sleep.
I made my bed in a castle in the clouds,
for a little while,
until I heard the dragons of Ulster below.
I saved the damsel,
but then she sued for defamation,
said it was gender discrimination to save a princess.
So I got her a room with Donkey Kong,
and he locked her back up in the castle,
maybe when Rapunzel gets out of work she can give her a hand.
I woke up early to the sound of a buzzard,
hark , said the Raven,
there's two Jehovah's witnesses knocking at yon chamber door.
I stole their airship and spanned the world in eighty days,
I would have sailed forever,
but I ran out of coal.
And I ran out of steam,
so I landed in Maine,
bought a house in Collinsport.
I baked a roast for the good Count,
with a garlic marinade,
served all on a silver platter.
When the flames died down I said a prayer,
and the Angel of good intentions bore his soul away,
on two smoky wings to Heaven above.
Now I'm watching as the Munchkin army goes to war,
outside my window,
waging war with the marauders of Svartalfheim.
It was a fixed battle,
the dark-elves took their eyes,
and strung them from golden Christmas Trees.
But things are looking grim,
the reality police are at the gates,
fiddling while Romans burn.
Demanding a tax for the USSA,
Putting pricetags on a dream,
and changing the face of liberty.
Whatever will they think of next?